Tess amd Herman

This is the last episode in the lives of Tess and Herman as Tess wrote it.  It is very touching and I thought I would share their beautiful story and the sad ending.

My Dr puts me on Pred for only about 9 days, cutting back after the lst 3 days...usually. I don't stay on it long. My husband, though, took it for 31 years, ever since he was diagnosed, and oddly enough he could tolerate it where most people cannot. He was 72 and still working the day he died. He was a small man, suffered terribly with asthma, called it Intrinsic Asthma at that time. No idea of where or why it started at age 41. He suffered so, if it hadn't been for Pred he wouldn't have been able to dress himself, shower, tie his shoes! Using his arms was impossible. And I remember early-on, him just bouncing up and down in the chair trying to breathe.

I'll tell you about the Combivent. We both were UNAWARE! On the day he had his 6 mo checkup the Dr gave him this Sample and a prescription for Combivent as well. Right there in the office the Dr told him "You don't have to come in to see me for A YEAR." (My husband told me that when he got back home.) The Dr did say he had the beginning of Emphysema, although my husband hadn't smoked for about 38 years and never since I had known him. We were married 31 years at the time of his passing.

He had a normal day, working in our kitchen, preparing to give it a re-do. We had supper and he mentioned we hadn't had American Chop Suey for a long time. Oh... and a few times during the 12 days after seeing the Dr. he had mentioned maybe 6 or 7 times, "When I use that inhaler it almost feels good when it goes down but afterwards, I can't get my g.d. breath." And that evening we went to see the tv news in the living rm and Duke, our Siamese had to be right there in his lap as always. We called him the Automatic cat because he automatically showed up in Herman's lap anytime he sat down or laid down!! Duke was 17. But that night, Duke stood up and wanted to go further up on Herman's chest.. and did... and reached up and licked Herman's NOSE , he was very serious about it. Had to do it, and we remarked how odd it was.  In about 4 minutes my husband gave me Duke and went out onto the porch as he had done some times for air, and I'd seen him do that many times over the years. Then my daughter was leaving for a bagpipe lesson and my husband just said 'Cindy, take me.'  She got him into the car and backed out, and she believes he died before she got out of the driveway. She didn't hear him breathing. We are 1-1/2 mi from the hosp. but he was gone when she got to ER. They couldn't do anything. His chest was very high, full of air, he couldn't breathe OUT and it had ceased everything. This was a nightmare for me. I know now, he is better off of course, if you can't breathe, if you wear out from not breathing.. what else is there? But I feel badly he had to go out "fighting".  I honestly do feel that the Dr should have been more deliberate about keeping in touch with him IF there were any side-effects, any problems. I know it was our duty to do that.. but I think he should have been warned a bit more. And I heard the warnings when my husband complained like that and yet I didn't see it as something deadly either. You know, when you have asthma, you have lots of times you can't breathe correctly, easily, and you sort of blame yourself, not the inhaler.

Right now due to our weather, changing all the time, my throat or lower bronchial tubes feel like they are full of MUD. That's why I have the Nebulizer. Honestly, you are right. If you don't have asthma, you don't know what it really is like. Mine came after the cold infection, and that was after my 23 yr old son had died while scuba diving Dec'83. There was a search and it was a cold, tough winter. He was found mid-Apr as ice was starting to go. Another Nightmare. But I got used to that, and learned after some years that at least he's SAFE, nothing can harm him now, etc. etc. so I've accepted it.  Then wouldn't you know it, my husband died 2-28-2000 and I had to have my Duke put to sleep because of Kidney failure, he was wasting away fast... on July 6th, 2000. How that hurt! But I figured they both are together etc. In fact, I had Duke cremated too and put his ashes with my husband, scattered some here at home, and buried some next to my son.

So that's the story.

 

The Prayer Tess wrote for Herman

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