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Tess amd Herman
This is the last
episode in the lives of Tess and Herman as Tess wrote it. It is very touching
and I thought I would share their beautiful story and the sad ending.
My Dr puts me on Pred for only about
9 days, cutting back after the lst 3 days...usually. I don't stay on it long. My
husband, though, took it for 31 years, ever since he was diagnosed, and oddly
enough he could tolerate it where most people cannot. He was 72 and still
working the day he died. He was a small man, suffered terribly with asthma,
called it Intrinsic Asthma at that time. No idea of where or why it started at
age 41. He suffered so, if it hadn't been for Pred he wouldn't have been able to
dress himself, shower, tie his shoes! Using his arms was impossible. And I
remember early-on, him just bouncing up and down in the chair trying to breathe.
I'll tell you about the Combivent.
We both were UNAWARE! On the day he had his 6 mo checkup the Dr gave him this
Sample and a prescription for Combivent as well. Right there in the office the
Dr told him "You don't have to come in to see me for A YEAR." (My husband told
me that when he got back home.) The Dr did say he had the beginning of
Emphysema, although my husband hadn't smoked for about 38 years and never since
I had known him. We were married 31 years at the time of his passing.
He had a normal day, working in our
kitchen, preparing to give it a re-do. We had supper and he mentioned we hadn't
had American Chop Suey for a long time. Oh... and a few times during the 12 days
after seeing the Dr. he had mentioned maybe 6 or 7 times, "When I use that
inhaler it almost feels good when it goes down but afterwards, I can't get my
g.d. breath." And that evening we went to see the tv news in the living rm and
Duke, our Siamese had to be right there in his lap as always. We called him the
Automatic cat because he automatically showed up in Herman's lap anytime he sat
down or laid down!! Duke was 17. But that night, Duke stood up and wanted to go
further up on Herman's chest.. and did... and reached up and licked Herman's
NOSE , he was very serious about it. Had to do it, and we remarked how odd it
was. In about 4 minutes my husband gave me Duke and went out onto the
porch as he had done some times for air, and I'd seen him do that many times
over the years. Then my daughter was leaving for a bagpipe lesson and my husband
just said 'Cindy, take me.' She got him into the car and backed out, and
she believes he died before she got out of the driveway. She didn't hear him
breathing. We are 1-1/2 mi from the hosp. but he was gone when she got to ER.
They couldn't do anything. His chest was very high, full of air, he couldn't
breathe OUT and it had ceased everything. This was a nightmare for me. I know
now, he is better off of course, if you can't breathe, if you wear out from not
breathing.. what else is there? But I feel badly he had to go out "fighting".
I honestly do feel that the Dr should have been more deliberate about keeping in
touch with him IF there were any side-effects, any problems. I know it was our
duty to do that.. but I think he should have been warned a bit more. And I heard
the warnings when my husband complained like that and yet I didn't see it as
something deadly either. You know, when you have asthma, you have lots of times
you can't breathe correctly, easily, and you sort of blame yourself, not the
inhaler.
Right now due to our weather,
changing all the time, my throat or lower bronchial tubes feel like they are
full of MUD. That's why I have the Nebulizer. Honestly, you are right. If you
don't have asthma, you don't know what it really is like. Mine came after the
cold infection, and that was after my 23 yr old son had died while scuba diving
Dec'83. There was a search and it was a cold, tough winter. He was found mid-Apr
as ice was starting to go. Another Nightmare. But I got used to that, and
learned after some years that at least he's SAFE, nothing can harm him now, etc.
etc. so I've accepted it. Then wouldn't you know it, my husband died
2-28-2000 and I had to have my Duke put to sleep because of Kidney failure, he
was wasting away fast... on July 6th, 2000. How that hurt! But I figured they
both are together etc. In fact, I had Duke cremated too and put his ashes with
my husband, scattered some here at home, and buried some next to my son.
So that's the story.
The Prayer Tess
wrote for Herman
Lord above, We ask you to take Herman (Junior)
under your wing, and let him know your loving Spirit, let him find peace and
solace with you. It is our hope that he will enjoy the beauty, the rays of love,
and support that you can give him since he cannot be with us, his wife and
daughter, who loved him, and his pets he always adored, always pampered, and
waited on hand and foot. Since Junior liked growing things, working in his yard,
looking at the beauty of Nature, of your world you created for all of us, we hope
he will find beauty by your side forever. We miss Herman, we shed tears for him,
but knowing you are there for him, does ease our pain and our loss.
Thank you for bringing him into our lives, for
giving us 31 years of sharing our lives, and finding a love so honest, so true, so
open, and lasting. Although he expressed he had no belief in a hereafter,
please show him that you are there, that you were always there, and that you will
always be there for us. Show Herman that he was wrong, but welcome him into your
arms as our Father, God. Put a smile on his face and let his spiritual heart burst
with your love.
Amen.
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