I
have always liked to think of myself as someone who was
thoughtful and caring. Until certain extent this
is true, I am that and more. However, there have
been times where I have been very heartless and have
completely failed to put myself on the other person
shoes. I have not even thought of what is going on
in that person's mind and life and why is it that they
are in the condition they are in.
I
can say that I have been very preoccupied with my
life. Don't misunderstand me, there is nothing
wrong with spending the majority of your time preoccupied
with your own life, and your family, health, finances
and the host of other situations that we worry about
every day. The problem is to get so wrap up on our own
lives that the life of others is not as important as it
should be. No, I am not suggesting that we should
stop worrying about our lives and spend all waking
moments worrying about others. I am talking about
one of the biggest lessons I have learned in a long
time. Even though I have received several
important lessons lately, this is the one that has made
a big difference in my life.
Empathy.
Each
person has a story and it is not enough to just look at
the person and jump into assumptions, biases, learned
behaviors and preconceived notions. It is about
stopping for one minute and think about this person
having a story that we don't know about. Until we
feel empathy for that person, our overview of people and
life will be pretty much out of reality and only an
illusion created by us for our own benefit and
comfort. The only way to feel empathy about that
other person is if we know their story, or we are going
through some experience that makes us think of them and how
they must feel.
Until
recently I have been a very slender, attractive woman
who was very proud of her looks. Those who have
read my story know that I am an asthmatic and can get
incredibly sick with attacks that require
hospitalization and major medical care and
treatments. These people also have read about my
experiences with steroids and the side effects of the
steroids on the body. I have put so much weight
that it is very difficult for the body to handle it and
I have developed diabetes type 2. This type of
diabetes can be the result of sudden weight gain and the
inability of the body to handle it.
Needles
to say, I am a butter ball and have problems like
retaining too much fluid and not been able to get rid of
it. Recently, in order to get rid to some of that
fluid I was hospitalized and they worked on it.
Now, not all the weight is the result of the
steroids. There are medical facilities that do not
believe that there is a correlation between steroids and
diabetes, these facilities need to be shown hard
evidence that it exists and that the results are
devastating.
And
here is where the change happened. I saw a person
who was as heavy if not heavier than I am and instead of
thinking that this person should go on a diet I thought
of what medical condition does she has going on, how
much she must struggle with the weight, how much teasing
and discrimination she must go through. I hoped
that she is taking care of whatever may be hurting
her. I was astonished at my new way of thinking
and to tell you the truth, I felt good about myself and
about life. I have always known that life teaches
us some incredible lessons and that if we don't learn
from it, we are really dense and no different from any predatory
animal form.
So
if you see someone in the street that is overweight,
think about this person to be taking steroids and having
Diabetes. If you see someone coughing their head
off, do not assume that it is because he/she is a
smoker. She might have bronchitis. When you
see anyone that looks different think about the
possibility of this person having a medical
condition. Put yourself on that person's shoes and
walk a mile on them.
